life

Optimist.

Optimism (n): an inclination to put the most favorable construction upon actions and events or to anticipate the best possible outcome

Before I went to bed last night, I was in a terrible mood. Why? Well, when it comes down to it, it’s because I worry too much. Rather, I worry too much about other people. If you know me, you know one thing about me: I’m the listener. I’m the one who you can call, day or night (if I actually answer, anyway), and whatever you need to talk about, I’m there.

I’ve served in this role for several years. It’s just what I do.

So, generally, I’m usually worrying about someone else’s life and problems instead of my own.

Which brings me back to last night. I was upset after talking to a close friend, and the entire dilemma kept me up until two hours after I had hung up the phone. I was so angry at other people, at the way life was turning out, and there wasn’t a thing I could do about it.

Then, this morning, I woke up. Stretched. Lied in bed for 15 minutes longer than I should have. Hopped in the shower. Made coffee. Hummed along to “Dream A Little Dream” while I got dressed.

In other words, I was fine. It didn’t even occur to me to be upset until I remembered the conversation from the night before while I was sitting on the train.

Conclusion: This is how I’m different from other people I know. I know people who are always pissed off, depress, etc. I once had a professor who said, “You have to wake up mad!” (Direct quote.) But I’ve never been that person. I have to remember that I’m upset.

Guess that’s what makes me an optimist. Granted, I hate all of that euphemism bullshit about the sun shining again and lights at the end of the tunnel (though I did love that stuff when I was younger), but that doesn’t change my general outlook on life.

End (not quite a) rant.

P.S. Don’t mistake the optimism for something it’s not, though. I can hold a grudge like no other.

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