The above was said by my coworker and roommate, Rachael. And she’s exactly right: My life consists of several moments where bad things happen. Lucky for me and those involved, most of the time, the “bad” things are usually just frustrating and usually pretty funny afterward.
Today, ladies and gents, I have two examples of those bad moments that make my life fairly entertaining.
The Tornado Warning Move
For those who don’t know, I moved out of my shady house and into a cute new apartment closer to the Metro. The day I moved, the plans fell through for the van I was planning on using for the move. After making the calls to the few friends I have in the area who also own cars, I called a moving company, and they told me they would be there by 3 p.m., so I hauled all of my crap (and trust me, I’ve accumulated a lot of crap since I got here in May) out to the sidewalk. I stand there in the blazing heat and humidity, but 3 p.m. comes and they never show. I called them back, but no one answer.
After giving up on them, I figured that it’s only a mile away, so maybe I can get a cab to bring me to my new place. I called up three different cab companies until one finally agreed to take me. While on the phone, I noticed that dark clouds are starting to roll in. The cab company told me they’ll be there in 20 minutes. I prayed that they would get here before the storm hit.
The moment I decided that it might make sense to bring my stuff inside, the wind starts blowing like crazy. The second I think about bringing everything inside, the rain starts to pour. EVERYTHING got soaked, from my clothes and shoes to books and newspapers. I must have looked pretty pathetic, because a neighbor ran up and offered to have me stand in their house until the storm had passed. I declined as gracefully as someone soaking wet in a white T-shirt (yep, that’s right), cut-off shorts and flip flops can, then hauled everything back into my house (while one of my then roommates watched. This roommate also had a car, and when I asked her if she could help me move, she said her car was too full of stuff to drive me anywhere. And you wonder why I moved).
The storm eventually passed, and I decided that since no one was coming, I was going to take matters into my own hands. With $40 in my pocket, I wandered up and down the street, offering money to anyone who would help me move. It took half an hour, but someone eventually agreed, and I arrived at my apartment, wet things in hand.
After I got there, my new (and much more awesome) roommate informed me that there had been a tornado warning. I had been standing outside with all of my crap in the middle of a tornado warning, and the worse that happened was that everything got wet. My umbrella didn’t even break.
God must really like me.
The “Thank You, Ann Taylor, For Existing” Spill
Last week, I spent the morning at the Australian embassy, looking at art. While heading to the metro, this woman from Smoothie King offers me a free sample of a strawberry banana smoothie. I am not one to turn down a free smoothie sample.
But I am one who doesn’t pay attention when she reaches into her person to dig out her cell phone, and then ends up spilling said sample all over her white button-up blouse. Yeah.
I take the blouse off on the street (luckily, I had a tank top on underneath) and do my best to get the smoothie off, but it’s no use: The pink stains are definitely staying there until I take some bleach to it. I walked down the street in despair, since I was supposed to be on my way back to work.
And, as if by magic, a LOFT (formerly known as Ann Taylor Loft) appears on the horizon. The clothing gods smiled down on me as I found a white shirt on sale that went well with my skirt.
When I got to the office 45 minutes later, I told the story to my coworker/roommate, and that’s when she said the quote became the title of this post.
Really, I think my life would make an awesome sitcom.