I know I left the Sagebrush in December, but I finally grabbed the last of my things at that office. Despite what you may or may not think, the Sagebrush meant a lot to me while I was there, and I wouldn’t trade my time there for anything. That chapter of my life has officially closed, and I’m moving forward – but not without a few things to laugh at or smile about. Below, you will find a list of things that I found amusing enough to document with quotes, polls, photographs – basically, anything a journalist could do – and then keep at the office until today. Think of it as an equivalent to a Sagebrush scrapbook, circa August 2007-December 2008.
2) Famous quote by Sagebrushers:
– “If the whole world was fat, I would be the Leonardo DiCaprio of fat people.”
– “If you have to fuck something, fuck UNLV.”
– “Feel free to objectify men.”
– “If you’re going to suck, suck your hardest.”
3) Not by a Sagebrusher, but possibly one of the best quotes ever for a story: “Everyone in this world is evidence of an orgasm, and I think that’s fabulous.”
4) Titles for people during the last issue:
– The Rapture (EIC)
– Resident Ass
– Snews Editor
– The Balls
– Copie Chef
5) Pictures of: cute waiters from Macaroni Grill, a cute student body presidential candidate, the fall 07 Sagebrush staff (last staff to be in the old office), Cosmo’s bachelor of the year from Florida, the cute mascot, George Clooney (do you see the trend?)
6) Editorial cartoons of: one senator searching for his soul, another senator imagining what he should text (this caused a scandal among the student government folks around our school)
7) Top 10 places to do it on campus: Fremont Cannon, president’s desk, Mackay Statue, Manzanita Lake on a raft, 50-yard line at Mackay Stadium, around the bases at Peccole field, table in the senate chambers, steps in front of Getchell Library, atrium dome in the Knowledge Center, the fireplace in the journalism school
8) Headlines that never printed but we wished they would have: “Commission fucks up election,” “Young and old gorge on juicy man meat”
9) The polls: According to the staff tallies, Anderson Cooper is gay, Clark Kent is a better journalist than Peter Parker, gay men love Cher more than Madonna and Britney, and N Sync defined our generation, not the Backstreet Boys.
10) The office death poll – the following quote resulted in the staff deciding who they would take out for the better of journalism: “The reason journalists get paid crap is just economics. There are way more ‘journalists’ than there are journalism jobs. So the solution is clear: each of you has to kill about two journalists each. We’ll put you all in an arean. 1/3 of you get to live and make a good living in journalism.” And to give you an idea of how that poll turned out, there was one staffer that received eight death votes and four staffers who received none.
11) A copy of Ryan Sholin’s 10 Obvious Things About the Future of Newspapers You Need To Get Through Your Head.
12) A photocopy of an illustration of the Sagebrush staff, circa 1914, and the following quote from the student editor at the time: “Any college or prep-school can have a ‘Student Record,’ but only Nevada can have a Sagebrush.”