If you are writing a hard news story, get to the point.
Please. Please. Please. Please.
I do not care what the neighbor thought was going on if he didn’t even know that the event was taking place. That should not be your damn lede.
And I shouldn’t have to reread a story over and over again to piece together the facts. They should be presented in a way where I can pick them out almost instantly.
It’s not that it’s bad writing. It’s just that it’s annoying. You’re a journalist and a storyteller. Don’t give me fluff. Give me facts.
Note to self: pay closer attention to writing to avoid doing exactly what I’m complaining about.